Five Days as a Farmhand: Thoughts and Stories from a City-Kid on the Dusty Plain

Part 2 of 5 - "The Gormley Feud and Grandpa Faye"

After a short, peaceful and quiet sleep in my bedroom (the only sounds to disturb a deep sleep in the country are the distant howls of coyotes) I was awakened by my father at 6:30 who alerted me that he needed me to help him load up fertilizer. Stumbling from my bed to my clothes to the air seeder outside I assisted him and he went out into the field to begin working. I went back into the farmhouse to eat a delicately prepared gourmet breakfast of Oatmeal Crisp and 1% milk as I read a few chapters of the book I was slowly fumbling through ("This Side of Paradise" by F. Scott Fitzgerald) in an attempt to wake up. I had a list of tasks to complete around the yard, which I set out to complete.

I began the work day by sweeping and shovelling dirt out from the large steel Quonset. It tends to get very dirty as the mud that attaches to the machinery slowly falls off while in storage and dust that blows into the open doors collects. I hadn't discovered what the Yorkton frequency for CBC Radio 2 was at this point (I became frustrated with the poor reception from the Regina station) and I decided to turn on John Gormley as I worked.

For those of you that are not aware, Mr. Gormley and I have a long standing feud on Twitter. I started a half-joke/half-serious campaign for people on Twitter to #UnfollowGormley. I've explained the origin of this feud to a few of my friends, but I feel as if this is an ideal opportunity to explain how this came to be..

"The Gormley Feud"

As a young child helping my father around the yard, there would usually always be a radio on. Due to the poor FM reception in years past (technology has drastically improved reception in our area) and my fathers radio preferences, we often tuned into John Gormley Live as we worked. At the time, I hadn't developed the ability to form my own opinions on politics and current world issues. Naturally, I found myself agreeing with Mr Gormley on most matters because I wasn't very knowledgeable on the topics that he was discussing, and I was easily impressionable due to my young age. My thought process was as follows: "Hey this guys sounds like he knows what he is talking about, and he's an asshole to other people which is funny.. He must be right!"

Years passed, and although I rarely listened to Newstalk radio while in the city, we continued to tune in while working at the farm. Then, and even today there are opinions on various issues that Mr. Gormley takes that I agree with (there are also many that I do not agree with). Time went on, and I  became tired of the rude manner that Mr. Gormley operates his radio show in. Even so, I could usually turn a blind eye to the occasional outburst and tune in to hear some one-sided debates.

My arch-nemesis... Gormley (as Seinfeld would say "Newman")

The scenario that was the tipping point for me personally that prompted the ensuing #UnfollowGormley campaign was a particular segment where he began to tear apart many fine Canadian musicians and bands on their decision to boycott Enbridge's sponsorship of the Prairie Scene Festival in Ottawa last year. In his rant/segment, the following occurred:

1) He couldn't pronounce Winnipeg Punk legends "Propagandhi" correctly, instead referring to them as "Prop-a-Gand-DIE" for the ENTIRE SHOW. I'm pretty sure his producer actually corrected him a few times on air. I'm curious if Mr. Gormley also refers to "Mahatma Gand-DIE" in the same manner? Apparently having a Law Degree doesn't teach you how to use phonics, or the ability to Google the pronunciation of a popular band that you are going to be referencing multiple times on your radio segment.

2) Proceeded to tell his listeners that he is a fan of punk music himself. Uses Green Day and Sum 41 as examples of "punk music" that he enjoys. Gormley has some HEAVY punk taste! I think I saw him in the 'pit at that Puddle of Mudd "punk concert"! Sick bro.

3) He listed off a pile of good underground/independent bands and musicians (Molten Lava, Comeback Kid, etc) and insinuated that they are not good because "no one has heard of them". Fact check: Molten Lava shreds. There are many bands that are not household names that are top notch. Excellent (arguably better) music exists outside of the realms of Top 40 culture. Maybe if Mr. Gormley spent some of his Maytag money on culturing himself and checking out some of the AWESOME emerging local/independent music that the Prairies are producing he wouldn't spew such uninformed garbage.

4) This one made me the most angry. He spent some time making fun of Ila Wenaus' name (who is an excellent musician and played trumpet in the latest Foxwarren album which happens to be one of my favourite albums) and quips about how "that can't be a real name". I lost the most respect for him and his radio show. Resorting to making petty jokes on the basis of peoples names directed towards someone that probably mindlessly and casually signed a petition is pathetic and childish. Grow up.

I get it. It's about ratings. Being an asshole gets ratings and fans, and it can convince people that have limited knowledge on a particular issue to agree with you, as it did with me at a young age. I've learned through my debate experiences in JDC West (I was on a debate team this past year) that people who have no idea or opinions on a particular issue are more inclined to believe someone that acts like an asshole a) because it is entertaining, and b) because rudeness is often mistaken as confidence. It is important to remember, that being a jerk DOES NOT necessarily mean you are correct, or that your logic is sound. Some might be impressed by the manner in which Mr. Gormley operates his show, I am not one of those people.

Contrary to Mr Gormley's belief, I am not "A generous little Leftist" as he called me in a tweet once. My political views are much more complex, and will shift depending on political climate/government and other factors. However, calling his critics "radicals" seems to be the usual conclusion that Mr Gormley arrives at when someone disagrees with his opinions. He collects his ratings by berating/shutting down/cutting off people on his program, and being arrogant/annoying/rude. This, is why my #UnfollowGormley campaign must continue. It's also pretty entertaining to have Gormley and his followers waste their time trolling my Twitter account. Satisfaction will be mine Gormley!

There you have it. The legend of the Gormley Feud explained. #UnfollowGormley Now, back to farm talk.
 
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After getting about halfway through the very dusty job of sweeping the quonset and suffering through some Gormley, I was instructed to go and collect the clumps of nitrogen fertilizer that remained in the bins and break them into smaller pieces. After I had gathered all of the fertilizer, my Grandfather and I spent hours smashing up the clumps of fertilizer using hammers and a makeshift combine concave/wooden block/clamp contraption that effectively helped us smash the fertilizer.

Our fertilizer crushing contraption.

"Edward Faye - Farmer Extraordinaire"

My Grandfather (AKA: Eddie Faye) is a tough old man. At 88 years of age, it's both sad on my end and impressive for him that he can still has the drive and the strength to work circles around me.  My Grandfather is a smart and resourceful man with a keen sense of "Farmer Vision". We had a good conversation one morning a couple of months ago while drinking whiskey at my Grandparents house in Kelliher.

He started to talk about when he was the Reeve of the Municipality and Mayor of Kelliher, SK in the 1980's. He told me stories about sitting as a board member of various committees/credit unions/co-operatives, having the local MLA offer him a job working for him at the Legislative Building in Regina (which he turned down) and how he inherited a Rural Municipality in financial ruin and turned it into a wealthy organization with money in the bank when he left office. He explained that they saved money by local farmers completing large infrastructure projects themselves. It dawned on me that this man had accomplished extraordinary things over his lifetime, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride sweep over me as he talked.

My Grandfather is a man that gets straight to the point. One fun fact, is that he NEVER says goodbye on the telephone. There have been many times when I have stayed on the line either still talking or waiting for his response for minutes after he had hung up. I've often contemplated his reasoning for this peculiar habit, and I have come to the conclusion that it is a measure of increasing efficiency for himself (conserved energy, less time wasted on goodbye, more time and energy for other things). I also know for a fact that I have inherited his stubborn disposition. I am a very stubborn man, as is he. 

My Grandpa is a smart dude.

In Saskatchewan, there is a type of "can-do" attitude and resourcefulness that my Grandfather and many other resilient residents exude. It has played a huge role in the history and development of our Province. If it's broken, you fix it. If you don't know how to do something, you learn how (he takes every available opportunity to encourage me to take an electrical wiring course, because you "never know when you're going to need to wire something"). You work until it is dark or until the tasks are complete, and you find creative new ways to make them easier. Fun and rest follows only after the work is done. Perseverance, resourcefulness, and innovation: these are the values that this Province was built upon.

I can tell you that already learned a great deal from this man, and I know that there is much more that I can observe in the future.

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After filling the fertilizer bags with the freshly smashed fertilizer and sweeping out the farmhouse it was time to eat supper at around 9PM and hit the hay. The next day would surely be another day of hard physical labour.