In recent years, we've seen a shift towards respecting, understanding and embracing the stigma of mental illnesses. As someone who has firsthand experience of this, I wanted to share my insight, knowledge and experiences with you guys about what I have learned over the last few years.
My story begins in the Spring of 2009. I was hating the major that I had already sunk 3 semesters of University into (Engineering), living in a different city than the majority of my friends and family (Saskatoon) and experiencing stupid (but very significant at the time) "girl troubles". I had made the decision that I would drop out of Engineering, I had no clue what direction I was going towards in life.
It was a stressful few months. I began experiencing chest pains and tightness in my chest everyday. I would start my days feeling tired after sleeping too much, skip my classes often and feel joyless regardless of the days activities - whether it was school, hanging out with friends, or other fun activities that would usually excite me and make me happy.
I went to the doctor, where they had me fill out a questionnaire, and I was clinically diagnosed with depression/anxiety disorder. She advised that she could prescribe me with Anti-Depressants, with which I responded with no (I was stubbornly against taking meds for something that I felt I should be able to control). I remember telling my parents and closest friends of my diagnosis, and while they comforted me and provided me with support, I couldn't help but feel as if they didn't really believe me, as if they felt I was just being over dramatic.
Following that terrible semester, I moved back to Regina and went to see my family doctor for a check up. There, I was prescribed anxiety medicine for anxiety attacks that I was experiencing. I remember sitting on my bed one in the midst of an anxiety attack, looking at the bottle of pills seriously considering taking one. I decided that there had to be a better way to deal with my issues. To date, I have never taken any depression or anxiety meds.
I began taking counselling with a super awesome dude by the name of John. I only had about 5 or 6 sessions, but they were enough for him to make me realize that anxiety and depression are mental disorders, that they can be controlled and used the analogy of an iceberg to explain the disease to me. He explained that there is much more to an iceberg than that part we can see (ie: the anxiety symptoms), that underneath the water, there are other pieces of the iceberg that support the small portion that we can see (ie: there are things that we didn't even know were affecting us that are contributing to our feelings of depression and anxiety). Most of all, it felt good to talk to someone that understood what I was going through.
It was the most sense anyone has ever made to me regarding the issues I was facing, and I spent a good portion of the next year discovering who I really was as a person, understanding when and how the feelings of anxiety/depression would surface, and how to train my body to analyze and deal with the issue. I still get anxiety attacks and go through periods of depression, but I'm aware of how to minimize the impact the disorders have on my life. The following are some of the most important things I have learned about living with mental illnesses:
Many people live with some form of depression/anxiety
It's weird because when I was dealing with my issues at first, I truly felt that I was the only one that could really understand what I was going through. This of course, was completely untrue. Regardless of how terrible you might feel living with this disease, it's important to note that a good percentage of the population has dealt/is dealing with the same thing. When you start talking with others about what you are experiencing, you realize that you are not alone. You realize that mental illness is not a stigma, that people are understanding and that you are not a "wimp" or weak for talking about your issues.
Explore your options when dealing with the mental illness
Obviously different levels of anxiety and depression will require different treatment methods. Now I'm not trying to say that you should never take medicine for anything, medication is definitely needed for many different scenarios. I'm just saying that it's important to think long and hard if medication is really the route that you want to take.
Many of the antidepressants have really nasty side effects, and are VERY difficult to stop taking. In addition, I have a real issue with the way our doctors prescribe these drugs. For example, I was looking for a new doctor about a year or so ago, and in a first consultation meeting I told the doctor that I had experienced depression years ago and continue to battle minor anxiety, but that I believed to have it under control, and that I didn't want to take medicine for it. He immediately launched into this huge fear-inducing spiel about how I would be 50% more likely to experience a heart attack without taking meds. I had issues with his diagnosis: 1) He had literally JUST MET ME. He knew nothing about me personally or medically, yet somehow he knew enough to try to prescribe me some heavy heavy meds? 2) I was aware of doctors over prescribing these pills, and that doctors are often "sponsored" of "gifted" by the pharmaceutical giants. Needless to say, I continued my search for a new physician, which led me to my current doctor who told me that I was likely fine without the meds.
Society has become dependent on medication to solve every problem, and it's not hard to see why. We view medicine as being able to solve everything quickly. It would make logical sense that this belief would transfer over to mental illness. However, mental illness is much more complex to deal with. It is a disorder of the mind. It's not as easy as taking some Penicillin and feeling better in a few days. Antidepressants are designed to moderate/numb our feelings/thoughts, which is a pretty crazy/frightening thing to think about. They are often not needed to deal with the disease, but society wants a quick fix so we can get back to living life/being happy. Realistically, it takes much more to deal with these issues. I found that learning and discovering all I could about myself, taking counselling and trying to train my body to recognize and moderate the effects of the disease worked for me. It's important for people dealing with the disease to figure out what works for them.
Learn to live with the disease
Mental Illnesses are diseases. As with any disease (cancer, MS, etc), you need to understand your limitations, and take time when needed to ensure your well being. This may include changing your lifestyle habits. For example, I cut back on my caffeine intake, scaling back the amount of energy drinks and coffees I consumed (too much caffeine+anxiety attacks=chaos). I also know when I need to take a sick day if I'm feeling particularly down or anxious. People might try to give you crap about this, but it's important to recognize when you need to take some time to deal with your issues and to block all the haters out yo. Making small concessions can go a long way in improving your lifestyle with mental illness.
Don't use your disease as a crutch
It's very important to stay positive and not to get consumed with the ongoing battle. It may seem really easy to mope around at home when you feel like crap (I'm often guilty of this), but it's important to be mindful that it is not your fault you feel this way, to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and really try to live life to the fullest. Don't let your disease keep you from experiencing things you love and creating new memories. Many people use their diagnosis as a crutch, and while it needs to be respected and understood it shouldn't be used as an excuse not to push yourself outside of your comfort zone.
The Bottom Line: To all that are experiencing mental illnesses, you are not alone. SO many people are in the same boat as you. Although there are many aspects of the disease that are not controllable, the way you approach dealing with your challenges is controllable, has a HUGE impact on your well being. Stay positive, and try to figure out what works for you. You will grow as a person, learn more than you ever would have imagined about yourself and you will be a stronger person in doing so.
Nick.
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